Dear Iranian Reader

 I was kidding around about who could possibly be reading from Iran, because I figured that it was some kind of wide web search engine mess up and somehow they got here without realizing it. I reasoned that no one from Iran would want to read the musings of a random American stay at home mom anyway and probably didn't look twice at it.

I was wrong.

Remember how obsessed I am with my stats page?

So just to clarify, I am really happy that you are still reading, you are probably a truly regular, interesting person, and my joking was done with the knowledge that I actually know very little about Iran in reality, and even less about who has access to international blogs like this one. That was the longest sentence ever. Wow.

So welcome, Iranian reader! And please, please tell me who you are! I am insane with curiosity.

xo

Mary


PS. The same goes for my readers in Malaysia, Germany, France, Ukraine, Canada, Italy, Australia, Japan, Singapore, Colombia, the Bahamas, and Denmark. Comment! Tell me who you are! I am so thrilled to have you, you have no idea.

I Always Feel Like... Somebody's Watchin' Me...

I love blogs. I read them over breakfast when my phone-call-away friends aren't awake yet. Because I shouldn't be awake yet. I've listed some of my blogsessions to the right over there. But they are sponsored and generally expect creepersons to be reading regularly. Other than that, I read my friends' wonderful blogs to catch up on what they are up to. So here comes a confession: recently I stumbled across a blog written by someone that I don't know. I knew her husband like a million years ago, and he was/is hilarious. Well, so is she. And now I am obsessively reading life details about this girl who wouldn't know me if we met face to face and shook hands. But I would be jumping up and down wanting to hug her and make inside jokes about her dog, or something equally awkward. It's shameful! I feel like such a crazy stalker! Is this where my obsessive blog reading has led me? I should just go back to reading tabloids, that's so much more acceptable. I love her blog. I mean, laughing so hard, by myself, on the couch... reading it aloud to my husband kind of love. I am a crazy person.

I finally just called myself out and told my friend from a million years ago that his wife is awesome and writes a killer blog. I am such a stalker. I made the mistake of telling Ben and he won't stop looking at me with disapproval:

photo by Kerry Ko

Judgy McJudger.

So I can't be the only blogger in the world who finds the stats page addictive and insanity-inducing.

You can find some really crazy stats, but they are super general, like what country people are reading from. I know three people that live in Australia, so chances are that's who is reading down under. But four hundred views from the US of A doesn't really narrow it down. So, no, usually I don't know if you're reading. Unless you are Keturah. Pretty soon here my readership from the UK is going to plummet by one and be replaced by a small Swedish following. Psychic? No, I just know my adventurous friend is about to move. And who in the heck has access to an American blog in Iran?? I try not to think about it.

Thanks to my friends who post a link to my blog on their blogs. You can see them right up there above the map, and how often they are used to click over here. This is also where I can see the random and hilarious search keywords that lead people to my blog. I talk about them in last month's Top Three.

I try not to get too caught up in how many people are reading and when, but lets be real. That's really hard!

So, thanks to my unhealthy addiction/reader feedback, I can tell you that I have around fifty readers that read every single post. Some of them comment on Facebook, which is great. And honestly, they are probably made up of family and friends. But now that I have my random-obsession blog, I am thinking that maybe one or two are having the same stalkerish guiltfest that I have been having lately. SO. If that is you-

Dear Random Reader That I Would Not Recognize Even If We Were Shaking Hands,

   Don't feel bad! I get an irrational jump in self esteem out of the fact that you read my random musings, and it's great. Feel free to follow my blog even if I don't know you. Feel free to comment on every single post, even the older ones, I will make giggly sixth grader noises if you do and show my husband. Then I will attempt to act super cool and smooth about it when I comment back. If you are taking the time and patience to read a little of my craziness, you are probably a very cool person and I'm happy to have you in my Blogiverse. Oh God. I'm such a nerd.

Okay, love you! Oops. I mean, catch you 'round... sometime. Maybe.

xoxo

Mary

Top Three

Search Keywords That Will Somehow Take You To This Here Blog. (Or it did for these poor people)

1. the middle of a relationship
Well, I guess I am technically in "the middle" of my relationship. With Scott, I'm assuming? I don't quite remember broadcasting that assumption at any point, but if you guys see a subtitle that includes this little phrase, that would explain things. I have no idea what answers this person was looking for, but maybe looking around this little spot scared them off helped them out with that.

2. "knight flight batman" remote doesn't work
Sigh, yes it does. The thing is, it eats up all the power its battery can hold in about five extraordinary, crash-into-all-your-lamps-and-plants minutes. Check this out if you're confused.

3. ie goodlife pest repeller worth it
I could just start using these as post suggestions. Please write your next post about pest repell...er... because apparently that is what your target demographic is really looking for. Noted. Thank you, gentle reader.



Scott's Guilty Pleasure TV Shows.

1. Chelsea Lately
He says sometimes he thinks she looks good and sometimes... "not good". He doesn't get what that's about. That may be what keeps him coming back. Gotta see if Chelsea looks hot today. He asks me to analyze her look and tell me why this inconsistency continues. My only idea so far is perhaps she has a manic depressive stylist?

2.The Dish Earth Channel
Seriously, a live video of earth from space. He will leave it on in the background all day. The guy just loves space. He will just stare at space. Or, more accurately... take a nap in front of space.

3. TMZ
It all started with Tiger Woods and his whole infidelity scandal and suddenly he's addicted. Tiger was like his crossover hit. It also kind of happened around the time he got hooked on Top 40 music. And started loving Justin Bieber... maybe he's having a mid-life crisis. Now he wants to grow out his hair like The Bieb and I am telling you I will cut it in his sleep if he tries it. I mean, come on...

I just can't let it happen.

Um, Can We Talk About This For a Sec??

TWO pageviews from Iran? I mean, I knew I was going public, but that is really public. I was under the impression that facebook and content regarding women's rights (of which I am a passionate supporter) was strictly off limits... so... is this incredibly pedestrian blog some government official's guilty pleasure? Why?? How in the heck did they run across my little spot here, anyway?

Okay...come on, now. Who is vacationing in Iran and didn't tell me?