Friday, April 29, 2011

Top Three

Habits of Mine That Annoy My Husband:

1) Only wanting his attention when he is trying to get something done. I argue that changing into his pajamas is not a pressing enough task to justify ignoring me and my need for enthusiastic kissing.

2) Refusing to clean out the refrigerator. Scott: Is this chicken still good? Me: No. Scott: [blank stare]

3) Leaving small bits of food on my plate after every meal. (Example: bread crust corners and grapes rejected based on size and lack of firmness) He says I am "pouring one out for my homies".

Drawbacks to Having the Cats Outside:

1) The garage floor is now covered in litter. Still, better than our bedroom floor, in my opinion. Scott still attests that it's worse on concrete. Whatever.

2) Chubba jumps over the fence into the neighbor's yard every day, then sits there and cries until one of us notices. They are never home, so Scott inevitably has to walk around the block, break some laws to get in there, only to find her now hiding under the deck and refusing to come out.

3) We find fight club rings on our lawn made out of cat hair. Scott thinks the other cats are trying to jump Chubba into their gang. I make Scott herd them into the garage at night so I can sleep easier.

Random Things My Husband Has Bought Online
&%$# woot. Pardon my use of unreadable symbols.

1) Knight Flight Batman. Batman figurine uses twin propellers to fly forward, sideways, up and down (not backwards). Uses infrared remote.
Me: "What are you going to use this for?"
Scott: "Um, to fly?"

2) BIOS Home Weather Station. With PC Link Interface... whatever that means. Includes: wind sensor, rain sensor, temperature sensor and transmitter, wireless LCD monitor with PC weather analyzer software, I am cracking up as I'm reading this...

Current use? Footrest. Not even kidding.

3) USB Missile Launcher. It also came with a software program. Scott proceeds to take it to work and plug it into his work computer and use it to shoot his coworkers. And he was promoted to management. Your tax dollars at work, people. Anyway, the IT department calls him and it goes something like this:

IT: We've detected innappropriate software on your computer.
Scott: Oh, which program?
IT: Um, "missile command software"?
Scott: Uhhh... I have no idea what you're talking about....
IT: We can send someone down there to help you uninstall it if necessary.
Scott: MMmmmm, nah I can take care of it.
IT: Thank you.



  1. Love this. Refrigerator one made me think of my own list.
    Things that I buy to store in my refrigerator UNTIL it goes bad
    1) A dozen Eggs (Logic: I'm Finally going to get around to making that egg salad.)
    2) A half gallon of milk in a gallon jug. (Never drank milk as a kid, don't know why I think I'm going to develop a taste for it at 26)
    3) Ground Beef (which I store in the freezer, only to realize I already have freezer burned ground beef from a shopping trip six months ago, which usually gets thrown away and replaced with the new one.)

  2. Knight Flight Batman is AWESOME!!!

  3. this entire post made me laugh! i think my fav was knight flight batman, "...ummm, to fly?!" hahaha. sooo awesome! thank you!

  4. HA!! Wow... if you ever come east we have to get these guys together.. Not even kidding - Pete bought that missile launcher from woot, too, and now shoots his co-worker regularly... And yes, the weather station, too...

  5. Kim- that is crazy weird! BOTH? What are the odds. Yes, if we are out east, we have to put these two in the same room. You never know, we may be moving out east ourselves!

  6. Top 3 things that I hate/put off buying because they're "too expensive" or considered "luxuries" in my poor, in debt, student brain (while I have no problem spending money everyday on coffee or drinks on the weekends...):

    1. Venus razors. I'm in grad school right? A hippie feminist? I might as well just stop shaving...they are so #$@! expensive!
    2. Socks and underwear. Which I always desperately need- I've actually convinced myself that having holes in these things is normal...
    3. Getting my teeth cleaned. I've seriosuly had this on my to-do list for THREE MONTHS.

    I did this for you, Mar. I know you can relate. ;)

  7. Cracking up over here! Can totally relate to the random crap husband has bought on the internet. Made him read it cause it was so spot on. Love it!

  8. This post is hilarious! Thank you for the laughs.

  9. you and Justine have the same top 3 I think.
    I know what that weather station is and have had my eye on it but decided building one from parts at is the right way to go.
    #3 on Scott's list-o-random purchases made me LOL. I just might have to get one.