Friday, April 29, 2011
1) Only wanting his attention when he is trying to get something done. I argue that changing into his pajamas is not a pressing enough task to justify ignoring me and my need for enthusiastic kissing.
2) Refusing to clean out the refrigerator. Scott: Is this chicken still good? Me: No. Scott: [blank stare]
3) Leaving small bits of food on my plate after every meal. (Example: bread crust corners and grapes rejected based on size and lack of firmness) He says I am "pouring one out for my homies".
Drawbacks to Having the Cats Outside:
1) The garage floor is now covered in litter. Still, better than our bedroom floor, in my opinion. Scott still attests that it's worse on concrete. Whatever.
2) Chubba jumps over the fence into the neighbor's yard every day, then sits there and cries until one of us notices. They are never home, so Scott inevitably has to walk around the block, break some laws to get in there, only to find her now hiding under the deck and refusing to come out.
3) We find fight club rings on our lawn made out of cat hair. Scott thinks the other cats are trying to jump Chubba into their gang. I make Scott herd them into the garage at night so I can sleep easier.
Random Things My Husband Has Bought Online
1) Knight Flight Batman. Batman figurine uses twin propellers to fly forward, sideways, up and down (not backwards). Uses infrared remote.
Me: "What are you going to use this for?"
Scott: "Um, to fly?"
2) BIOS Home Weather Station. With PC Link Interface... whatever that means. Includes: wind sensor, rain sensor, temperature sensor and transmitter, wireless LCD monitor with PC weather analyzer software, I am cracking up as I'm reading this...
Current use? Footrest. Not even kidding.
3) USB Missile Launcher. It also came with a software program. Scott proceeds to take it to work and plug it into his work computer and use it to shoot his coworkers. And he was promoted to management. Your tax dollars at work, people. Anyway, the IT department calls him and it goes something like this:
IT: We've detected innappropriate software on your computer.
Scott: Oh, which program?
IT: Um, "missile command software"?
Scott: Uhhh... I have no idea what you're talking about....
IT: We can send someone down there to help you uninstall it if necessary.
Scott: MMmmmm, nah I can take care of it.
IT: Thank you.