Friday, June 10, 2011

I Always Feel Like... Somebody's Watchin' Me...

I love blogs. I read them over breakfast when my phone-call-away friends aren't awake yet. Because I shouldn't be awake yet. I've listed some of my blogsessions to the right over there. But they are sponsored and generally expect creepersons to be reading regularly. Other than that, I read my friends' wonderful blogs to catch up on what they are up to. So here comes a confession: recently I stumbled across a blog written by someone that I don't know. I knew her husband like a million years ago, and he was/is hilarious. Well, so is she. And now I am obsessively reading life details about this girl who wouldn't know me if we met face to face and shook hands. But I would be jumping up and down wanting to hug her and make inside jokes about her dog, or something equally awkward. It's shameful! I feel like such a crazy stalker! Is this where my obsessive blog reading has led me? I should just go back to reading tabloids, that's so much more acceptable. I love her blog. I mean, laughing so hard, by myself, on the couch... reading it aloud to my husband kind of love. I am a crazy person.

I finally just called myself out and told my friend from a million years ago that his wife is awesome and writes a killer blog. I am such a stalker. I made the mistake of telling Ben and he won't stop looking at me with disapproval:
photo by Kerry Ko

Judgy McJudger.

So I can't be the only blogger in the world who finds the stats page addictive and insanity-inducing.

You can find some really crazy stats, but they are super general, like what country people are reading from. I know three people that live in Australia, so chances are that's who is reading down under. But four hundred views from the US of A doesn't really narrow it down. So, no, usually I don't know if you're reading. Unless you are Keturah. Pretty soon here my readership from the UK is going to plummet by one and be replaced by a small Swedish following. Psychic? No, I just know my adventurous friend is about to move. And who in the heck has access to an American blog in Iran?? I try not to think about it.

Thanks to my friends who post a link to my blog on their blogs. You can see them right up there above the map, and how often they are used to click over here. This is also where I can see the random and hilarious search keywords that lead people to my blog. I talk about them in last month's Top Three.

I try not to get too caught up in how many people are reading and when, but lets be real. That's really hard!
So, thanks to my unhealthy addiction/reader feedback, I can tell you that I have around fifty readers that read every single post. Some of them comment on Facebook, which is great. And honestly, they are probably made up of family and friends. But now that I have my random-obsession blog, I am thinking that maybe one or two are having the same stalkerish guiltfest that I have been having lately. SO. If that is you-

Dear Random Reader That I Would Not Recognize Even If We Were Shaking Hands,

   Don't feel bad! I get an irrational jump in self esteem out of the fact that you read my random musings, and it's great. Feel free to follow my blog even if I don't know you. Feel free to comment on every single post, even the older ones, I will make giggly sixth grader noises if you do and show my husband. Then I will attempt to act super cool and smooth about it when I comment back. If you are taking the time and patience to read a little of my craziness, you are probably a very cool person and I'm happy to have you in my Blogiverse. Oh God. I'm such a nerd.

Okay, love you! Oops. I mean, catch you 'round... sometime. Maybe.


  1. Made me laugh! I feel the same way. I swear, If I ran into Kelle Hampton, we would immediately be friends and our kids would play. oh, and I want to know whose blog it is that makes you laugh, I am looking for another to stalk I mean follow.

  2. Guilty blog stalker!

  3. Mary! I am so flattered. Sometimes I kind of forget that people do actually read my blog, so it always makes me happy when I get comments like yours! Just the fact that someone who doesn't know me would find my blog interesting at all is so validating, so I completely know what you mean! I got to read some of your blog as well and thoroughly enjoyed it. One of these days I need to figure out the whole "blog following" thing and, how do you say? "Google Reader" so that I can be better about keeping up on your hilarity! Your little boy is adorable and I look forward to meeting you in person some day, I hope! Until then, I'm excited to be blog friends :). Thanks again and feel free to post a link, I welcome all readers, like you, with love!

  4. **Jumping up and down making giggly sixth grader noises** I would looove to meet you in real life someday! I can't wait. So glad we are blog friends so that now I don't have to annoy Tim by passing notes to you via his Facebook! EEeee! I know that you are about to be a mama of two, so it may be awhile before you have ANY time to yourself. A huge congrats to you guys!!! I can't wait to hear the details of being a mama to two on your blog. :) **more jumping** Today is awesome.

  5. You crack me up! Last year I recognized and said hi to someone I blog stalked when I was in line behind her at the grocery store. It really freaked her out. :)

  6. KATY! That is hilarious!! She probably drove home thinking, "this is the end of life as I know it. I am becoming the next Oprah..." lol

  7. So a few things:
    1) I know I have said it before, but I wished we lived closer. The more I read your blog the more I feel the need to live near you and become besties. I mean that in the most non creepy way ever.
    2) I now want to stalk the blog that you love so much also.
    3) That picture of Ben is ridiculous!! How does he know to make that face and look so ridiculously cute? I die!! Disapproving photo, so pleased in the grass, and tissue on my head are my favorite photos of him=).

  8. Justine:
    1) Me too. Definitely. We will have to become besties as best we can in the meantime :P
    2) Oh yes, you do. Love her. It's Rauch Rhymes with Cow by the lovely Sara Rauch. You can link up by clicking on her comment above (Tim and Sara) or clicking the link that I listed under Blog Love over to the right.
    3) I can't believe my friend Kerry caught the rare eyebrow move. Such a win!! I love all those, too, that's a great top three :P