...but this is ridiculously above and beyond.
So already I have had to be on top of tiny baby Ben- he likes to give me a big O and then the minute he hits the boob, pull back and purse... and the kid has suction like a piranha, especially when his latch is wrong! We went to the doctor today (Thursday 9/9) and while Dad was removing his diaper for the check up, his cord fell off! 5 days old. Meanwhile, at our dr visit we find out he is super jaundiced and lost 11% of his weight from birth. Sigh. (Yes, I am feeding him every time I can get him even somewhat out of a completely comatose state) He is staying alert more every day, but I'm trying to feed him non-stop, and the kid has to sleep sometime, he is a newborn lol. That was a hard visit, the doctor mentioned how in extreme cases where parents don't get on top of it, jaundice can cause brain damage. Well, that starts my hormone letdown and I just start crying. Scott is holding the baby, and trying to get me a tissue, and the doctor looks really apologetic. Phew hormones. So anyway, this company comes by and brings a bright blue light to help with his jaundice. Its actually amazingly flexible- like a thin little pad connected to a hose, the pad slips up inside his onesie and lights up on his little chest. However, burping and feeding this little guy has just gotten twice as hard. If I thought getting him to latch was hard before, getting him into different holds with this glo-worm thing on him is a whole new world of frustration. So I am also supplementing with pumped milk... and healing from the birth (ahem five days ago, OUCH) I tore like crazy and since then everything I do has required me to sit upright, why is that?! So here I am, trying to semi-recline tonight, with Ben and his radioactive blue glow being burped by dad, a pump attached to one boob, moaning because my tears are hurting so bad (we walked around town a lot today getting little man tested), and I go to adjust the pump bottle and spill the whole thing everywhere. All over me, all over the sheets, and I had just taken a hard-earned shower. I sobbed. And sobbed. And sobbed. Husband got me calmed down, cleaned up, fed and put to bed for a two hour nap, but boy. THIS IS HARD.I am pumping about an ounce from both sides in fifteen minutes. He has been eating about two ounces every three hours, but thats an average. Some feedings are excellent and he eats a lot, and then the next feeding will be longer and more... "snacky"...so it varies.
You can do it...The first few weeks are the hardest and then I promise you will be a pro. Logan was born at 34 weeks so he was jaundice and his sucking reflex was not developed. I was sure that I was never feeding him enough, and it felt like I was nursing constantly. All I can say is that it is hard but if you just stick with it you will be glad you did and everything will be ok. And poo on your dr for bringing up brain damage, what a butt. You are doing what you are supposed to, and everything will turn out just fine.
ReplyDeleteSeems like lots of little ones get jaundice - everyone does what you are doing and they've all turned out to be the brightest and cutest little children. Benjamin will too! Motherhood sure is messy, huh?
ReplyDeleteLove, prayers and hugs :-) Karen
MARY YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN AND AWESOME MAMA! (and three cheers for your husband)
ReplyDeletekeep doing what you are doing and try not to get wrapped around the numbers game. if you feed on demand (and pump if you want to get your milk up or take a break) then you are giving ben exactly what he needs.
nearly all babies are born jaundiced.... BREAST MILK IS THE BEST WAY TO GET RID OF IT!!! and sunlight (or the bili light you have).
hang in there, it will get easier and you are so fortunate to have help....dont be afraid to ask for it!
call me if you need anything!