Two Weeks

Wow, what a crazy few days. My nipples have been so sore, breastfeeding just kills me. It's been so hard to really feel that wonderful bonding feeling when every time he latches its like burning. My back is hurting, just from carrying six pounds in really strange positions. I haven't been getting much sleep- Ben wants to feed for an hour every two and a half hours. That means that half of the entire day is breastfeeding and did I mention how much it hurts? There is the whole "breastfeeding isn't supposed to hurt" thing that just ticks me off because then there is the literature about how it takes a couple of weeks for the skin on your nipples to toughen up... so it does hurt, no matter what you do. Its so funny to me, though that the magical number seems to be two weeks. I can't count how many friends have called or written and said, "Yes, those first couple of weeks are the hardest."

So its the end of day 10, and I am here to say, it is getting better! We slept well last night. Ben showed up to work last night, and then fell back asleep in record time, so Scott and I got these amazing stretches of sleep. My milk supply is finally catching up to him. I pump for about five minutes after every time he feeds to make sure both breasts are drained, and that seems to have helped considerably. He seems satisfied after a feeding in a way he hasn't yet, and the only bottle we gave him today was pumped milk, because he slept a little late and I was getting engorged. He ate that not long after. So we are on track! Day 5 I was pumping one ounce from both breasts, now at Day 10 I'm pumping over 2. The right is putting out more than the left but I can't figure out why. Oh, well. As long as he is getting enough. Day 8? He made his first little coo. He lifted his head off my shoulder, turned his head toward me and made a little sound, it was so adorable. Hey!! Day 11 and I just pumped 4 ounces from both. Woooo!

I have a bladder infection, but I've got antibiotics on it. Ben had his circumcision appointment today and as the doctor said, "You've got a little marine there." He didn't cry at all, just looked at the doctor the whole time. He's been that way through all of his blood draws, too, doesn't even flinch. He will raise total hell though whenever someone tries to change his diaper. He's been a little sore, but he slept great all day, and hasn't been fussy at all. This seeming resistance to pain is not genetic, I will tell you that much. He is more alert every day and turns his head at our voices. Dad can calm him the fastest, he is immediately content when he is on Dad's shoulder. We took Grandpa out to breakfast afterward as a thank you for all the hard work he has been doing for us, and Ben slept right through it in his carseat. Grandpa and I agree that pancakes are one of the greatest foods ever invented. And God bless coffee.

Jeff and Kristen brought us a delicious dinner tonight, and I just finished it. YUM! Right in the middle of one of the most incredibly terrible weeks for them, I can't believe they still insisted on doing it. Jury duty, a sinus infection, and a flat tire are just a few of the challenges today held for Kristen. We are praying they make it through the weekend and everything falls into place! We miss Grandma and can't wait for her to come back this weekend. We have a Skype date with Auntie on Thursday. I plan on spending the rest of this week in bed, to try to force myself to have a chance to really heal. Especially with this bladder infection, I need the rest that everyone keeps telling me to take. I have two wonderful guys helping me with all my needs, but its still hard to accept all their help and not get up and contribute. I can't wait to feel healthy!

I can't believe I forgot to add this! The biggest news from the beginning of week two, is that Ben is back to his birth weight. After our doctor visit, we went into frantic feeding mode (obvious in my older posts) and we only had four days to "show an upward trend" as the doctor said. Ben was born at 6lbs 2oz, and dropped to 5lbs 7oz in 5 days. In the 4 days before we saw the doctor again, he gained 13oz! He weighed in at 6lb 4oz at the doctor on Monday and his jaundice was gone. The doctor says his skin looks amazing now and he seems very healthy. So now I am dialing things back to on-demand feedings. That means instead of checking for a rooting reflex every half hour, I am waiting to hear his slowly accellerating grunting noises that mean he is about to be hungry and upset. We are letting him wake us up instead of setting alarms, although this morning I woke up needing to pump because he slept in! It does help considerably, although breastfeeding is still not comfortable yet. We will get there...

(9/15/10) Ugh the antibiotics I was on made me really sick! The doc took me off of them and wants me to stay really hydrated until he can re-evaluate how I am feeling tomorrow. I feel so weak, I couldn't even sit up until a few minutes ago, its been a brutal afternoon. I pumped twice, because I just can't hold Ben right now, but of course my supply is down by half. Sigh, so tired of feeling bad. There are victories, and then setbacks. I hope I can really start feeling better at some point here, I want to enjoy my baby! I can't even change him because standing upright hurts my bladder so much. Oh well, I just need to keep remembering that someday I will feel like myself again, and will be able to breastfeed with joy, and take care of Ben. I just wish that was tomorrow.