I do feel that its strangely appropriate to be putting myself out "there" (where?) at this time in my life. I have just a few months left of my twenties, and I have two goals for my much-aniticipated fourth decade on earth:
a) to truly listen to different perspectives and practice acceptance
b) to be unapologetic about who I am
Qualifiers: not aggressive, not defensive, just not trying to fit into someone else's system.
I love my wide net of friends, with different experiences, and even if we have differences, I want to be able to focus on what we have in common, without necessarily having to sweep myself under the rug.
Here's something you may not know- Scott and I have conflicting beliefs and politics. He was raised to be very conservative, and I was raised, well.... in Santa Cruz. A very special kind of liberal territory, for sure. Neither one of us is carbon copies of our parents' original plans, I'm sure. In my case, I am very sure. But it's definitely the foundation of everything we believe. When we were first discussing marriage, we had long and sometimes depressing talks about how this was going to work. Daily life was pretty easy, but we knew that when we got older and had kids we would have to face some pretty tough issues. Well, wouldn't you know it, here we are! A whole split second later!
Our final game plan kind of floated to the top of all these road blocks that we kept running into. We agreed on very little when it was all drawn out on paper. Do you like Mexican food? Yes, yes. Check. Separation of church and state? NO?? Really???!! Okay so not quite like that, but I'm paraphrasing. In the spirit of paraphrase, our solution looked somewhat like- if the child in question asks you about this issue, you answer their question. If they ask you why their other parent so clearly scoffs at that answer, you tell them that its because said parent is craaaaaaaazy. But you love them anyway. Although we both care a great deal about the values and beliefs that Ben learns here at home, he will have to choose his own way in the end, as we all do. We respect each other's opinions and beliefs, and we love each other anyway, and I hope that is the take home message.
Another take home message: Its not okay to hide the other person's absentee ballot and tell them that the mailman must have just lost it...